I do it in my SOX.

so. I never realy liked baseball. Then for our senior class trip, we went to an Orioles v. Red Sox game in Baltimore. I really enjoyed myself and realized, hey, I could really like baseball. I didn't think much of it and certainly didn't watch anymore games after that. But after my boyfriend and I got together, I noticed his LOVE for the Boston Red Sox. So when they made it to the ALCS thing [yeah, i really don't know baseball yet] we watched games together. I stayed awake until 2am, a 5 hour long game, just to watch them lose in the 11th inning. But from then on my dedication of watching every Red Sox game is unreal. I'm watching baseball alone in my dorm room, something I would't have even thought about doing a few months ago. It's enjoyable. I like it.

On a completely different note; I love going to the gym and listening to my mp3 player. Unlike most people out there, I don't own an iPod. I own a creative zen. It's cute and orange and about 3 years old and I'm satisfied with all 5000 or so songs I have shoved on it. Everytime I go to the gym and put my headphones in and turn on my music, I'm thrilled by what comes flowing into my ears. It's like going to a candy store and just randomly grabbing any and every candy you see. You never know know what you're going to get and if it's going to fit your mood, but you completely forgot that you had it. I love it. I heard so many insanely great songs today that I totally forgot that I had. It was wonderful.
Also, going to the gym is killing me. I'm so sore. My goal was to lose 10 lbs by Halloween, but when I go to the gym and feel like crying from the amount of pain I' in, it's not going to happen. I'm also completely re-adjusting my eating habits to eat a lot more healthy. So I drop fat, build lean muscle, and look fantastic. Let's hope. I want to be "slammin'" by Christmas break.

Okay. well. again. I'll write tomorrow. :]

Stability

I made it to college. For about a month and a half and I don't exactly like it that much. Don't get me wrong; I love the freedom. I love being able to leave whenever I want and come back whenever I want. I love that I can go out and party and not have to tell anyone where I'm going. And I really love that I can everywhere that I need to go and not waste gas.
But I don't exactly enjoy this school. I love my friends I've made; five of the most fantastic girls to ever walk into my life. But as for being happy here? It's not exactly happening. I go through days we're I'm extremely happy and don't want to be home, but most of the time I'm sad and down and rather be at home with my best friend and my boyfriend. So I'm highly considering transferring to my local college and getting all my gen. ed. credits done for the spring and then transferring to a bigger school in the fall. But I don't want to lose my friends here or the freedoms that I have at college.

Here's the other thing. I'm worried that I'm basing way too much of this off of me missing my BF too much. The sad thing is, we've only been dating for a little over a
month and we're completely attached. He's 21, almost 22, (a good 3.5 years older than me), and graduating in May. He pretty much knows what he wants out of life and where he wants to be in the next few years. And here I am; 18 and a freshman in college. I'm not supposed to have any idea what I want out of life, what I want to be, or who I even want to be with for the rest of my life. But I'd like to think I'm not like every other freshman in college. I'm certain that I want to own my own business. I'd like to be married within the next four years. I want kids within the next 10 years. And I'd like to be a wedding planner and plan all of my college girl's weddings.
Now, most people older than me are going to judge me. And tell me I have no idea what I want. That I can't possibly have my head on straight and know all these things for sure because I'm so young. But I beg to differ. Some people are more mature for their age than others. Some people just know what they want in life and go for it. I'd like to think I'm one of those people.
I know it's ridiculous. But I'm pretty set on being with this guy for the rest of my life. And he doesn't know that. He doesn't know I want to be his last girlfriend. But he's already talked about me moving in with him next year. We'd get our own place and start our lives together. It's so exciting. But I don't think he understands what that means to me. I'm not going to move in with someone who is JUST my boyfriend and that's all that we can ever be. I want it to be a full on committment. Ring on my finger sort of deal. That's the type of stability that I'm going to be needing in a year from now if he plans on living with me. I mean, I don't need the ring on my finger before we live together. But it's gotta be a definite that it's going to happen. And that we'll be married in a few years down the line. But i'm pretty positive that he has no clue that this is my feelings on the situation. And there's no way I'm going to be bringing it up anytime soon. We've got about 7 months before we need to start looking for a place to live. So I'll leave that conversation for when the time arises.

Anyway, I'll write more tomorrow. This is a good way to get everything out. I love it here.

Graduate!

So I'm an Annville Cleona High School Graduate.
I'm not going to lie, it's a pretty good feeling to know I don't have to deal with high school anymore-- or anyone in my class that I despise.
I have something like more intelligent I want to write but I'm just really lazy right now and wanting to sleep before I work tomorrow.
I'll get around to it, I promise.

eighteeeen.

I turn 18 in approximately 1 hour and 55 minutes.

well. technically I was born at 4:26am. So, I guess I'm not a legal adult until then. haha.

I'm excited. My friends and I are skipping a half day of school tomorrow. it's well worth it.

Prom.

This is way too late but uh, here's some prom pictures. The food sucked, but it was realllly fun!!
Maybe tomorrow I'll post pictures from the senior class trip to Baltimore.

Save the Last Dance

I really and honestly and truly cannot wait until the day I can walk out of my high school and know that I won't be forced to spend time with a certain set of people. I really cannot stand a group of people in my grade; they are overly annoying and immature. I'm especially sick of one girl in particular. I'm pretty sure I mentioned her in a previous entry; the girl that always enforces her opinion on everyone, always is complaining, and really is a complete and total bitch. Now I won't go to the extent of stating her name or even certain situations where she's been a bitch to me, but really, I can't help but hold back the urge to slap her square in the face REALLY hard. She's definitely one girl that I won't be missing at all when I'm out in Pittsburg.

In other news, tomorrow is prom and I'm kind of not that excited at all. I guess I should be because it's my last high school dance and I'm going with a huge group of friends, but honestly... I don't know I'm just not that enthused. A bunch of girls have gotten spray tans or have been tanning to look absolutely perfect (personally I think they just look incredibly skin with an orange tint to their skin and fake long nails.) I guess I'm a slight hipocrit though because I did get the spray tan and the fake nails done last year. But in none of my pictures- or even the day after-- did I look incredibly fake. It looked like I laid out in the sun for a week or two and my nails looked like I just got a manicure done-- not huge long acryllic nails. But whatever. I'm just not that excited. I get my hair done around 12. And then eat a salad for lunch. and then I just kind of chill until about 30 minutes before Ben leaves to get me. [ My date is one of my BEST FRIENDS. and we're meeting up with our huge group to get pictures at his house.] So I guess I'm excited for the whole aspect of hanging out with best friends all night, besides the fact that 3 of mybest friends won't be there. Instead they're having a "man bbq" and then will meet up with us after prom at Ben's house. So I don't know. I just kind of hope my excitement gets up by tomorrow.

Something that is super super lame-- I work Music In the Parks Saturday morning which means I have to be at the high school by 7:30am. I probably won't sleep at all after prom and I definitely won't get to shower before heading to MIP. So I guess I'll be showing up with messy hair and in sweatpants or shorts and my director will just have to deal with it.

okay well. I'll update with pictures probably after prom.

senioritis? you can have it.

In 18 days, I'll be 18 years old.
And 18 days plus one year ago, I was at my junior prom. Celebrating my 17th birthday with amazing friends and having the time of my life. Weird thing is-- that doesn't seem like a year ago. at allll. It's insane and almost unbelievable how quickly my senior year has flown by. It seems like it's always the first of the month. I'm always flying through the weeks. One day this is due and I'm supposed to have two weeks until the next thing is due and magically-- that due date is tomorrow. I don't know. I'm not complaining that it went so quick, and that it still is going so quick. But I kind of wanted to be able to soak it all in before it was over. I mean, I love my senior year. I have the best friends ever and we have the best times together and my classes aren't that bad. All together so far, it's been an amazing last year of high school. I just wish there was more time to soak it in. And have fun before being unleashed into the "real world." But I won't lie, I really hate going to school everyday. and the homework. and waking up at 6am to sing by 715am and it's a drag. It's definitely senioritis.

Oh well. I graduate in 24 days. I still don't really want to go to the commencement ceremony but hey- I got a really cute white dress out of the deal, so that's not too bad.

Do you have a first aid kit handy?

I'm incredibly sorry for my lack of updates. Everything just kind of slammed all at once school work wise, and madrigal rehearsels are now starting up. It's kind of stressful, and I don't exactly hand stress well.

Oh well.

I really like when a song I'm addicted to currently comes on the radio. It makes me smile and I can't help but turn it up and sing along in my car. I probably look like an idiot, but who cares?! And yeah, I'm hopelessly addicted to the song Damaged by Danity Kane. It's not my typical style of music AT ALL but it's just so catchy. Plus I watched Making the Band 4 where they were made.

Okay. Back to writing this paper...boo.

Too much.

I hate missing school because I hate having to make things up. Like tests galore and teaching myself math. BOO.

And I don't like having relationship and boy problems on top of it. Or the fact that I totalled my car. And wasted $220 of my parents money for the NYC trip that I could no longer go on after the accident. I don't know. I just kind of feel not so good lately.

Sorry for the lack of posts and then an update with this one. I'll have an insightful post tomorrow.

Huge change of plans...

Yesterday I went to my friends house and around 4:35pm, I decided to leave. It was a beautiful spring day so my windows were open but in no case was I speeding. I decided to take the "short- cut" home instead of traveling 934 and dealing with the after work traffic. Everything was going great until I realized the curve ahead was a lot sharper than I had remembered [and you really couldn't tell from my direction- you can from the other direction and I've traveled that way many times.] My back tires squealed and started going across the yellow lines. I tried to over steer back onto the road but did it way too hard and crashed headfirst into a tree. I didn't black out so I remember everything. Everything is so vivid in my mind and frankly, it's horrible. After the airbags went off, I jumped into the back seat of my car grabbed my cell phone, which was in my camera case, and jumped out of my car. i was freaking out. I called my dad and tried to explain what happened but I was in shock and couldn't' do it justice. A really nice elderly lady came running around the corner and called 911 for me. Shortly after the gentlemen from the house up the street came to help give directions and a house number for the EMT's to come. And then an amazing Army guy came and held my head still and let me rest on him. I didn't realize I was in pain until I sat down. My ribcage hurt, my head hurt and had a bump and scratch. When the EMT's arrived. Everything became a blur. I was having my vitals checked, my neck put in a brace and next thing I know, they're positioning me on a board to load me into the ambulance. I was still in a state of shock-- I had no idea what was going on completely. The guy in the ambulance was really nice. I got oxygen, an IV, and was being monitored constantly. I was told I was being admitted as a trauma patient since I hit headfirst at 40mph into a tree.

After arriving at the hospital, I was put into a room and surrounded by at least 8 people. They pulled off my jeans and cut off my shirt and tank top. I was moved onto a different bed and they checked everything. they hooked me up to an IV and took my blood and all this stuff. Really, it became a blur and I just wanted to see my parents. After a little bit, my parents could come in and check on me. I asked them to call Schane and let him know and ask him to come. I was taken to get CT scans and x-rays. I was admitted for the night and Schane stayed until 9ish. It was a relief and relaxing to have him there. And my mom stayed the night with me. I was on IVs and there just for observations. I'm okay besides my ribcage is really sore and my neck really hurts. I have a cut on my top right forehead, my left hip bone and left ankle. I'm lucky to be alive and that my airbags went off along with me wearing a seat belt. it could have been a lot worse, thank goodness it wasn't.

If you get the Lebanon Daily News there's a picture in the local section of the crash. They didn't mention my name because my dad requested it not be released. It just says a female driver.

Here's three pictures of my car.

Three more to go!

So we pulled off our opening night of musical, suprisingly.
But this last week has been FULL of drama, bitchiness, and bullshit.
And I honestly cannot wait for musical to be over, even though it's my last year.
I'm tired of being called a bitch, being told I'm doing everything wrong, and having my opinion be competely shut down before I even finished my statement. It's ridiculous that someone else's opinion is SO much better than mine, that they make sure to degrade me in the process of enforcing their stupid reasoning. I'm incredibly done with dealing with musical kids.
Oh and 8th graders apparently know me so incredibly well that they can form opinions that I'm a bitch, and a whore because I like two boys and I wear a leotard. (riiiight...)

Anyway! I'm completely exhausted and slept through the majority of my physics class- which probably was a horrible idea but oh well.

Come see Beauty and the Beast tonight or Saturday at 8pm or even Sunday at 3pm!!

Not so Beastly

I'm really sorry for my extreme lack of updating. I have no time to do anything for myself anymore; life is completely consumed by musical. Alas, all of it will be over by Sunday at 9 p.m. and I will have nothing owning my life. THANK GOD.

anyway. you should really come seee Beauty and the Beast at ACHS on either Thursday at 7:30pm, Friday & Saturday at 8pm, or Sunday at 3pm. It'd be really great if you did =]

Kind of like an onion.

Six hours of musical after I threw up all morning and didn't have anything on my stomach was not my idea for a way to spend my Saturday.
But hey, whatever. At least I got sausage pizza and a movie night (Shrek 2!) with a cute boy.

No more Full House, please.

So today turned out semi-okay.
I stayed home sick with pink eye-- really I just look incredibly stoned and the guys (especially Ben) really like to make fun of me. But hey, whatever.
I made delicious blueberry muffins and a cheese omelet since my house decided to lack bacon. =[
Schane came over with an orange cream slush from Sonic to cheer me up. And the guys plan on picking me up after musical is over tonight to hang out until who knows when. So that should be a blast.

In other news: I bought concert tickets about 4 minutes ago. Death Cab for Cutie will be at the Mann Center for Performing Arts in Philly on June 12 and this little chick will most definitely be there!! I'm so excited. It's definitely a good deal and I really like that venue. I saw the Philly Orchestra there last summer with the madrigals crew and really enjoyed it-- well minus the being stuck in traffic for an hour and really having to go to the bathroom.

That's all I really have for now. I guess it's back to more reruns of the lamest shows on television until the boys call. I'll probably have an update later with pictuers from tonights outting.

Pink is not my favorite color.

I think I have pink eye. And I am less than enthused.
I just want antibiotics so my eye stops hurting.
Piece of crap.
In other news; Andes mints are delicious.
And you can crush up saltine crackers into a sand like substance.
AND having 3 study halls a day full of seniors because of PSSA testing is really enjoyable.

I can't wait to graduate.

Save the Whales.

Listen to this song.
I had to listen to it for 4 periods straight.
[and yes Paige, I'm blaming you.]

No, I'm not part of the Builder's Society.

It's ridiculous. Today I visited my guidance office to find more scholarships to fill out since the state refuses to give any money to help pay for college unless your married or have a kid. Being a smart, intelligent, really involved in school activities student gets you a measly sum worth maybe a 1/16 (if that) of your college education.

So while I was browsing around with two fellow AP English kids, I noticed that I didn't qualify for over half of the scholarships in the cabinet. For one, your parents or grandparents or uncle or something had to work for Lebanon Bologna at some point and be active and whatever. WHAT THE HECK?! That's so specific! The other's-- you had to have kidney disease in your family; be visually impaired or handicapped; want to be a teacher or something; you can sing really well and plan to pursue that profession; going to college for entrepreneur major after already owning your business. It's absurd. There aren't any out there for ordinary students that are involved in things and have good grades. And the ones left-- all the super smart kids are snatching up and they are obviously more qualified.

what gives. I just need a way to help pay for college.

=[

If I had a Fox, I'd put him in a Box.

IF
I had more time in a day then I'd post everyday.
BUT
With musical, school, homework, college papers, and being sick-- I run out of time rather quickly.
I'm sorry.

BYE.

Oh the facts.

I have nothing else to post. So here's 15 random things about me. Enjoy. Or not. I don't care =]

1. My favorite animals are lemurs and koala bears. AND if I had to choose to be any animal, it's probably be a koala bear. They sleep for about 20 hours a day. The other four they eat eucalyptus leaves. And the reason why they're so tired and sleep all the time is because the eucalyptus leaves hardly have any nutrients to give them energy-- it's a vicious cycle that I'm pretty sure I'd be okay with.

2. I dye my hair red tones because it makes my eyes greener all the time and I love having amazingly green eyes.

3. I really don't like to watch television but I'd be lying if I told you that I don't fill my free time with crap on MTV and VH1.

4. I'm pretty sure I will always love kiddie movies over any other movie that comes out. Madagascar is my all time favorite, with Lion King being a close 2nd, if not a 1.5. And I rather go see movies such as Horton Hears a Who in theaters than scary movies like Shutter.

5. My favorite colors are green, orange, and yellow. And I know that most people think they look horrible together-- but I like it.

6. I'm currently growing my hair out for Locks of Love, which I'm pretty sure not many people know.

7. I cannot live without Burt's Beeswax chap stick. Pretty much, I refuse to use anything else and my day is not a good one if I don't have my Burt's. It's basically a security blanket.

8. Math is the worst subject on the face of the earth. And I'm pretty sure I could be taking the easiest math class possible and I'd still be confused as hell. Yep. I hate math.

9. Secretly, I want my septum pierced. With a tiny tiny tiny curved barbell, i think it'd be really cute. But all my friends and family would disown me. And getting a job would be kind of hard.

10. I have one tattoo already, and I plan on getting another one, maybe two before I head to college in August.

11. I don't drink alcohol at all. And it baffled me today, while in my physics class to hear a fellow classmate say "yeah we're all going to be fucked up the next day after our senior trip anyway. hang overs all over the place." My friends and I are like, "unless you don't drink." The girls response was, "oh, I never thought of that." WHAT!? What do you mean you haven't thought of that?! Not everyone in high school drinks for Pete's sake.

12. I want to be a dancer. I always have. And doing a little bit of dance in the musical has really made me want to do it. I don't know what kind. I just want to dance.

13. Girls are not good best friends. Boys are the way to go. And I love all 10 or so of mine =]

14. Music is my entire life. No really it is. I'm in our chorus, chorale, and chamber choir. I was in the color guard for the marching band, and I own over 200 Cd's + the random songs I download onto my computer. I live breathe and eat music, basically.

15. I plan on becoming an International Business major as of right now. I'll probably switch over to Business Management/ Administration with a minor in Entrepreneurship. But we'll see.

That's it. BYE!

You would kill for this (just a little bit)

Pretty much, I'm still sore and exhausted and needing more sleep; sadly, I'm normally recuperated by now- but I'm not. You may be asking, "why are you so exhausted and sore and sleep deprived?!" Well, my friends, I was at one of my best friends parties. And you might be thinking- no big deal, you were with a bunch of your girl doing...girl things. No such thing. I was the only girl at party with 11 boys. And my gosh, it was the best sleepover party I have ever been to.

Of course, we're all "nerds," right? We can't have fun. But whatever. We had cases of Mountain Dew and Sunkist (mhm, best drink choices around!) and various chips and jelly beans. Some boys played Rock Band, others Smash Brothers, others VS, and the couple of us left either wrestled or talked for awhile. It was a great time. I have bruises and I'm sure the boys do too. Around 1am, we took a walk up the mountain. (My friend's house is about half way up a mountain.) It was about a 10 or so minute walk up since we decided to make our own path up, but on the way down we used the actual path. We stayed up playing Truth or Dare and Would You Rather (and you can only imagine how that went with 11 boys and one girl.) But it was a blast. I get treated like I'm one of the boys, but with some more respect since I am a girl.

It was my first time staying with all of them all night and only falling asleep around 6am. And we hit that point around 4am where everything is hilarious and you have insane amounts of energy flowing through your body. I danced around on the wrestling mat to the crazy frog song and sandstorm with a fellow friend. But it was so fun and nice. All the boys acted completely like boys, like how they would when a girl isn't there. And I still completely love those boys.

Anyway, here are some pictures. Don't try to interpret them.
oh and HAPPY ZOMBIE JESUS DAY!